Watched an episode of House..

Yes.. it's a bit of an older show.. which I watched back when it was relevant.. I am doing a re-watch.. (related note.. little known fact.. people who have been exposed to trauma often like to re-watch or re-read old shows, movies, or books.. my wife does not understand why I have so many books.. that I continuously re-read.. or why I like to watch shows and movies over and over again.. may be the life of trauma lol..) I digress.. this particular episode of House centers on an outbreak in the maternity ward of the hospital.. ya.. sick babies.. little to say it was a tough episode to watch.. especially when one of them died.. was even harder when the scene turned to House preparing to autopsy the baby.. the show went to commercial prior to the actual autopsy.. but.. we all know what went down..

Having lost 3 babies.. who were autopsied.. despite our request that they were not.. it was a tough episode to watch.. I almost skipped it numerous times.. sick babies.. when you currently have a baby.. and when you have one who was stillborn and two who did not make it an hour outside the womb makes an episode like that challenging to sit through.. but.. I am glad I stuck it out..

Statistics show.. couples do not last long after the loss of a child.. it.. is a marriage killer.. my wife and I lost not one.. but three.. all at once.. yet.. we have pushed through.. we are still happily together.. granted.. somedays are better than others.. but.. that is life.. I am so grateful.. and so blessed to have her by my side.. she is a remarkable woman.. and despite our trauma.. we are closer than ever..

Losing the girls hurt.. badly.. watching this episode hurt.. but.. I am grateful I watched it.. it reminded me (not that I needed the reminder.. I know every moment of everyday how blessed I am to have my wife..) that I am so blessed to have my wife by my side as I go through life..